I was Angry at Christians

Spirits Watching Over Me

I was born and raised in the West Midlands in England and I have three sisters. Most of my family were involved in spiritualism. My mother was a medium and would consult the dead in small spiritualist churches.

My mother constantly told me that the ‘spirits were watching over me’ and she was ‘contacting the spirits on my behalf ’,
but I would kind of patronize her and just say, ‘Yeah, okay mum,’ and sort of leave it at that. I only ever went once to the spiritualist church when I was eighteen and I thought it was a complete sham.They would sometimes invite itinerant mediums visit us and they would claim to give messages from dead people.

I did not buy into it, but what it did do is start to make me interested in the occult.  As a young teen I loved horror movies and was a huge fan of Edgar Allan Poe, probably America’s greatest horror story writer, and a fellow called H P Lovecraft who created a whole world of ‘older gods’ as he called them which I found fascinating. But the occult scared me and I thought, ‘If I get involved in this, it is going to cause me problems.’

My mother was never very emotional or loving. My father was probably closer to us than my mother. I don’t ever remember my mother hugging me, I don’t ever remember her telling me she loved me and my father was too embarrassed to say it.

As I got to about 15 years old I started hanging out in pubs. There was a pub around the corner from us where we lived who would allow younger people. I got a girl pregnant when I was 18 and so I had to get married. It was traumatic. I’d probably been going out with her about six months and she got pregnant.

Basically my father said, ‘You made your bed, lay in it. You’re marrying her,’ so I did. My first daughter, Julie, was born just
about six months after we got married. I was 18 and cocky – and had no idea how to run a marriage, no idea how to bring up a child. I knew nothing. I was a party boy and I would drink to the point of numbness. I used to do it pretty much every
Friday and Saturday night.

Then Dorothy and I had another daughter called Jane. I tried to be the best I could but after about ten years I’d had enough. Stupidly I had an affair and lived with the lady for about two years but it was a terrible relationship. It was based on sex. Can you imagine? I mean how shallow. My wife Dorothy was wrecked, absolutely wrecked.... READ MORE

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